I was asked to write a 'top 10s' article for ShortList about all this MP scandal, so here it is for anyone interested:
Shortlist's 10 Most Ridiculous MP Expense Claims:
Every penny counts at the moment - especially for those minimum wage MPs. We tot up the 10 most ridiculous expense claims the poor guys have been forced to recoup to survive financial turmoil...
1. Glittery Toilet Seat
Understandably bogged down by all the toilet reading he has to do for work, John Reid claimed a reasonable £29.99 for adding a little sparkle to his bathroom. Presumably he also wipes his posterior with £10 notes of tax payer's money.
2. Chocolate Santa
Sian James, Welsh Labour MP, must've thought it was Christmas when her 49p claim for a chocolate Santa actually got approved.
3. Smug Photo
Obviously impressed with himself for expensing every penny he possibly could, millionaire Lib Dem Chris Huhne celebrated by claiming £82.35 for the mounting, framing and inscription of a photo of himself. Now he just needs to decide which of his 7 homes to hang it in...
4. Jellied Eels
Clearly struggling to make ends meet, we imagine Essex MP Andrew Rosindell just needed £1.31 to make a jellied eel pie – a traditional English dish for the poor
5. Changing of Lightbulbs
How many MPs does it take to change a lightbulb? None, we’ll make sure someone’s hired in to do it for them. On us, of course.
6. Wooden Spoon
A Labour back bencher claimed 26p for a wooden spoon. Probably a desperate attempt to keep a small fire going in her bedsit, so she could keep her hands warm
7. Lemon
We’ve all been told we need to get our 5 a day. Let's not get bitter about this 23p claim.
8. Moat Cleaning
We’re all facing tough times at the moment. Conservative cabinet minister, David Hogg, can’t be expected to have to go through life with a dirty moat on top of all his other troubles. £2,115 well spent.
9. Ikea Bag
A poor Scottish Labour MP, reduced to shopping at Ikea, turned to us to help him out for a 5p carrier bag. We’re positive he will give us value for money and protect the environment by re-using it.
10. Packet of Tampax
Clearly an essential work-related item for male immigration minister, Phil Woolas. He needed them for his job. Period.
Every penny counts at the moment - especially for those minimum wage MPs. We tot up the 10 most ridiculous expense claims the poor guys have been forced to recoup to survive financial turmoil...
1. Glittery Toilet Seat
Understandably bogged down by all the toilet reading he has to do for work, John Reid claimed a reasonable £29.99 for adding a little sparkle to his bathroom. Presumably he also wipes his posterior with £10 notes of tax payer's money.
2. Chocolate Santa
Sian James, Welsh Labour MP, must've thought it was Christmas when her 49p claim for a chocolate Santa actually got approved.
3. Smug Photo
Obviously impressed with himself for expensing every penny he possibly could, millionaire Lib Dem Chris Huhne celebrated by claiming £82.35 for the mounting, framing and inscription of a photo of himself. Now he just needs to decide which of his 7 homes to hang it in...
4. Jellied Eels
Clearly struggling to make ends meet, we imagine Essex MP Andrew Rosindell just needed £1.31 to make a jellied eel pie – a traditional English dish for the poor
5. Changing of Lightbulbs
How many MPs does it take to change a lightbulb? None, we’ll make sure someone’s hired in to do it for them. On us, of course.
6. Wooden Spoon
A Labour back bencher claimed 26p for a wooden spoon. Probably a desperate attempt to keep a small fire going in her bedsit, so she could keep her hands warm
7. Lemon
We’ve all been told we need to get our 5 a day. Let's not get bitter about this 23p claim.
8. Moat Cleaning
We’re all facing tough times at the moment. Conservative cabinet minister, David Hogg, can’t be expected to have to go through life with a dirty moat on top of all his other troubles. £2,115 well spent.
9. Ikea Bag
A poor Scottish Labour MP, reduced to shopping at Ikea, turned to us to help him out for a 5p carrier bag. We’re positive he will give us value for money and protect the environment by re-using it.
10. Packet of Tampax
Clearly an essential work-related item for male immigration minister, Phil Woolas. He needed them for his job. Period.
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